Sun 28th September
On the train going to do IF WET and realizing that there are so many clear parallels between the senses and feelings of motherhood and the act of creating an instrument, that the piano texts really do feel relevant (e.g. about not knowing fully about something til you make it; about finding out by being with it; “getting inside” etc). I created a montage of little film and sound clips and, after doing my sensible power point, played these in a kind of ‘hash up’ for the audience.
In the station going back. So, I did it – I shared some of my material to a real, live audience – and it kind of worked! I was really interested to discover how terrified I was, about to press play on the Stan birth-day clip. But they seemed to think it was ok, not over-sharing! And fascinating to hear how audiences MAKE CONNECTIONS IN THEIR OWN HEADS. I need to keep remembering this! That we make something then give it to someone who then processes it themselves. They are processing. So whatever we give them, they will build connections and meaning and probably deduce all sorts of things that we didn’t even think of.
Before I listen to the feedback, what I remember are these points:
1. That people were moved
2. That people laughed
3. That the ratcheting is very repetitive and people worry about my safety but also enjoy the almost pointless or energetic nature of it. Clearly btw this is the thing to get rhythm from for the show. If running tracks could come from anything, it’s this.
4. There were nice comments about the contrast of how a concert pianist should act compared to the brutality and peril I’m exhibiting! Also about toys being made to be obsessively (boringly!) safe but I am using them to be quasi dangerous and certainly randomly semi-violent/chaotic.
5. That people loved the swinging and could have watched it for ages. This could be the ending. Others wanted resolution whilst some wanted no answers. I think I could build into an epic, pulsing something and then leave it or even lie down in front of it to a very slow fade out, perhaps even holding it in a very low light for quite a while and then going back around to play the lullaby of the opening again, or even play with the child bedtime projector on the front of the instrument… Perhaps bring in ‘you can hardly hear them breathe when they’re deeply asleep’. But also right after “connectedness” I say about the hypocritical thing of them being in nursery…so I could burst it. But it just doesn’t seem right to do that in the version of events I just played, as the sad bit comes after the audience have enjoyed (endured?!) a lot and also laughed with me and possibly cried with me, so it seems fairer to be fair to them at that exact point.
6. I think now that I should make cool music come out of the fun stuff.
7. I think that I should draw the peas and the broccoli and the burger (or sausage?! Or toast) on an easle, as they did appreciate knowing it was silly plastic food.